Stitch My Heart

Halloween

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Paintball & Powerhouse! Halloween! :D

Went to play Paintball with LS mates. Kind of cool.

At first, it was really scary that I dun feel like playing.

After playing quite fun la! Shooting people, shooting target.

I got hit a few times only, not direct. Paint-ful. Haha..

Got a few bruises from it. :(

Not forgetting Powerhouse that adds on.

I fell off and hit the stairs of the Podium.

Got a few more I duno where I bump into.

Powerhouse. Today was the first time, I felt so moodless when going to club.

I didnt drink alot, but wasnt drunk. In the middle, I know I control.

Because I dun wan history to repeat. :x

Papa & Mama overseas.

I think not enough alcohol to make me slp.

Although Im damn tired.! Interesting Halloween.

We left Powerhouse at 5, some went off early.

Valerie, LiWei, Peipei, Peipei's bf, Peipei's fren, Zinc, Zinc's bf. :D

Cecilia with her friends. We took pics tgt :)

Something make my heart beat again..

the truth

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

I am not Emo. I am just telling myself the truth.

Don't talk to me like I am very sad, because I will feel worse.

i duno the purpose of posting this

omg. i duno wat m i doing.. why i keep telling myself to stop, thn i think about you again.. i remind myself about how u respond, how u talk to me the last few times. i feel like im a true stranger or just a fb friend of you. my heart still sink, but not as deep. i know whatever i say now, is what im not suppose to say. i need to tell myself that i need to push myself forward n be strong. but how m i going to do that... here is the truth, im acting to be fine, esp in front of u. but the degree of being fine is not as high as how i react. maybe this is the moment of time that i feel like that. but i dun wana talk to anyone about it, because i will feel worse. i know what im feeling, i dun need others to tell me worse stuff, i dun need others to tell me how weak im. somehow very soon, i need to face u again, i need to act normal, act that im fine. sometimes, i wish that u are as affected like me. but i tell myself, that i dun hv this power to make u feel like that. u can just say im escaping, n i know somehow im. i was moving, but i think i stop at the same spot for awhile. i blog, i dun think u will ever read. maybe im just a nobody to u now, which kills me. i hate myself for thinking, still.

萧亚轩 - 错的人

Sunday, October 24, 2010

我太笨明知道你是错的人明知道这不是缘分但我相信有点可能

Resistance

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The FASTER you run, the More RESISTANCE there is AGAINST you!

Do you dare to go against the Resistance?

If not are you going to run or walk? Or even stop?

Then how long will you take to reach the line of success?

Whatever you do, there will be Resistance against you.

Dare to go against it. But in the right way!

I love COFFEE! :D

Cause it will make me HYPER! Woo~

It makes me HAPPY too! HAHA!

Look on the Brighter side.

If you think it is worth going for, then go for it!!!

Define your define "worth going for"..

Analyse before you say it is worth going for anot.

Wah~ RP influence me, blog also blog like this.

MISSY TING

A blessing in disguise

Monday, October 18, 2010

A blessing in disguise.

Valerie & Min Er

She blog about me :D

So touched after reading.. Almost cry sia.

So nice to know her.
She understand how I felt, we are always there for each other,
never giving up for each other.

I think we both got fear, if one of us disappear then how.?

Rmb that time u ask me this question, if u suddenly dun contact me, what will I do?

I say I believe that u will not leave me, I will wait for u to reply me and contact me again.

We both fear. But we told ourselves we will not give up.

Finally, I understand the reason why things happen.

Thanks for those people that let me meet Valerie and get to know her! :D

Sometime my heart will whisper to my mind

What upsets you is the memories you all share, not him.
You have move on, but maybe not fully.

But is okay. You'll be.

Sometime my heart will whisper to my mind.

Saying ...

Saying hey I miss those times, how I wish we are friends..

Watching movie together and chatting like those days.

But once I thought about the last msg I sent you, I think I shouldn't.

I don't know you didn't see it, don't know what to reply, didn't want to reply or that's the reply.

But I know, that's enough for me.

What hurts more is not that you didn't text me, is that you used to text sweetly everyday last time. :,(

This line used to be very painful to me. Maybe now I am still numb too.

We numb our feelings, not to get hurt and break down again and again.

questions but no answer

there is three question that make a answer with a sigh.

sadly, all commonly ask questions..

"Why you and Valerie become so close ah?"

"Why you become skinny suddenly ah?"
"Why your blog, your facebook, your twitter and everything about you so emo ah?"

Because of you.

How to answer sia, this kind of questions.. I sigh and don't know how to answer.

let go

Sunday, October 17, 2010

To let go isn’t to forget, not to think about, or ignore. It doesn’t leave feelings of anger, jealousy or regret. Letting go isn’t winning, and it isn’t losing. It’s not about pride, and it’s not about how you appear, it’s not about obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn’t blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, it doesn’t leave emptiness, hurt or sadness. It’s not giving up or giving in. Letting go isn’t about loss, and it isn’t defeat. To let go of something is to cherish the memories, to overcome and move on. It’s having an open mind and confidence in the future. Letting go is accepting, it’s learning, it’s experiencing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that once made you cry, laugh, love and grow. It’s about all that you had and all you still have. Letting go is having the courage to accept change and the strength to keep moving. It’s growing up, realising that a heart can sometimes change and it can also be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, clear a path and set yourself free.

so long since i find myself there

When you become familiar about some places, no matter how long you didn't return to that place, you will still be familiar with it. So once you get familiar with something, you can never forget. It has been so long since i find myself there, but this time is different. Some memories flood my brain. But I control myself not to think. I am fine. 1% affected. I am there, you're not. I know. & I miss Valerie.

health and wellness

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Today Health and Wellness lesson, the words are like slapping in my face. Symptoms of depression and Depression. Maybe I got depression leh.. I meet those symptoms leh.. Possible! HAHA! And health health stuff. Wah I think I got physically, social and mentally unwell!

Okay going Volleyball training. So tired and sleepy. Hope things are better soon. POLITE period, competitions. Byes.

everything bothers me

Even though you're not there for me, I'll always be there for you. I hate how I like it.

Here's my heart. Take it away. I mean, it has always been yours.

I know that whatever I do is just to distract myself and past time, esp school. I know I have not recover, I know that it's a good escape for me. But I realize that the only reason behind is that I am just too weak.

How can I be not affected by anything? Why is it so hard? Why everyone wants to cheer me up, but I just can't be happy?

Too weak to be strong. Too weak to face it again. Too weak that I choose to escape. WEAK!

I need to learn to be strong. Teach me how to fake a smile, teach me how to be strong. I need to learn, learn from basic.

The symptoms of depression sound like slapping me. Sound like I need counselling. The topic of today problem.. School ah school. Every day so early sleep. Every day in class feel like sleeping, last time not like that leh.. Drink coffee = age more! I already look old enough already, don't need to add more.

Ytd, I had a long long talk with my mummy. Should I say it is positive or negative? I don't know, maybe both. Cause we quarrel about her closing my Atm account, not telling me. I am angry, not because she close my account, but because she didn't tell me. If she tell me, at least I know what to spend, what not to. Don't need until I buy alr, want to take money alr then realize.

I said what I wanted to say, after keeping it for years from my mother, because she never know what I have been through. She don't know when I start school, what's my GPA, what I have been through, what I like, who I love and she don't know that I cry a lot of times at night. Why only when we have argument then the truth comes out, then we say how we feel and I tell you what happen in my life, when you are actually my mum? Contradicts uh?

Which is more powerful? I wish, I want or I will? Answer: I will :)

Don't be defeated, Min Er.

They're right, I am not fine. It's just the cover page, not content.

Friday, October 08, 2010

After that post that day, I realize there is still a part of me that have not let go.

Messages that I don't dare, don't bear to delete. I am still giving myself excuses to delay the time. Reading some messages that day, still didn't delete it. Seems silly, seems no point, seems no use having it. But I don't what's keeping me. Maybe I just feel that those memories are really beautiful, too beautiful to be deleted.

They're right, I am not fine. It's just the cover page, not content. My heart haven't die. But I need to make it die for you...

小伤口

蔡依林 小伤口 歌词

出发点总是好的 你终于离开了
为我好 这点我懂得
不必再争取了 你不该我的
多给一个理由 一个借口 也是多余的
你的每个拥抱 每个亲吻 全都是冷的
说真的没什么 都几岁了 谁没分手过
我不会 感到挫折 舍不得放手 才烦人
这点小伤口 很快就愈合
留下浅浅疤痕 当做纪念 多幽默
只是小伤口 那又为什么
随时碰就随时痛
多给一个理由 一个借口 也是多余的
你的每个拥抱 每个亲吻 全都是冷的
说真的没什么 都几岁了 谁没分手过
我不会 感到挫折 舍不得放手 才烦人
这点小伤口 很快就愈合
留下浅浅疤痕 当做纪念 多幽默
只是小伤口 那又为什么
随时碰就随时痛
这点小伤口 多久会愈合
那么疯狂的爱 两败俱伤 多寂寞
只是小伤口 时间包扎我
你不需要担心我
只是小伤口 时间包扎我
我想念 你给的痛

Empty

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

If I can delete somethings from my heart and my mind... Okay fine, I think I don't dare/bear to delete it away. *Change* I want to move some things to another folder, at least not my heart or mind.

Sometime, I wonder, I ask myself questions. Why is the world so harsh, why somethings in life is so hard, why moving on and be happy is so difficult, why is it so hard to stop looking back and thinking. I realize how weak I was.

Just a random thought of blogging. It's been long I really write about how I feel. Actually, I feel really empty. No matter how much I go out, drink, dance, enjoy and so on, I still feel empty at times. Another word is Sian. Worse if Valerie is not in Singapore. No one to distract me, entertain me and wake me up.

Sometime things that I do, I will link to you. Without knowing and agreeing with my mind. Like for example, when I take Mrt, bus, go to some places, pass by some places or whatever la. Really will have that thought, but I told myself to stop it. Don't fall back again to square one.

I mean okay la, I am not emo, just that sometimes when I suddenly thought of something, will feel so sian diao or empty. And the best part is I don't how to feel better. I am over you, but I am not over those memories and after effect. Small little things can really affect me. But I will control.

I hate to cry. I feel weaker and weaker when I cry. And I don't like it man. I don't want to know where am I, how far I go, how well I did. I only want to listen to my friends and follow as said, regardless whether it is right or wrong. Paisae, I blog lesser and lesser. Nvm la, nobody see de la. At least when I wana say something, here it is.

MISSY TING