Sometime, I wonder, I ask myself questions. Why is the world so harsh, why somethings in life is so hard, why moving on and be happy is so difficult, why is it so hard to stop looking back and thinking. I realize how weak I was.
Just a random thought of blogging. It's been long I really write about how I feel. Actually, I feel really empty. No matter how much I go out, drink, dance, enjoy and so on, I still feel empty at times. Another word is Sian. Worse if Valerie is not in Singapore. No one to distract me, entertain me and wake me up.
Sometime things that I do, I will link to you. Without knowing and agreeing with my mind. Like for example, when I take Mrt, bus, go to some places, pass by some places or whatever la. Really will have that thought, but I told myself to stop it. Don't fall back again to square one.
I mean okay la, I am not emo, just that sometimes when I suddenly thought of something, will feel so sian diao or empty. And the best part is I don't how to feel better. I am over you, but I am not over those memories and after effect. Small little things can really affect me. But I will control.
I hate to cry. I feel weaker and weaker when I cry. And I don't like it man. I don't want to know where am I, how far I go, how well I did. I only want to listen to my friends and follow as said, regardless whether it is right or wrong. Paisae, I blog lesser and lesser. Nvm la, nobody see de la. At least when I wana say something, here it is.
MISSY TING
