Even though you're not there for me, I'll always be there for you. I hate how I like it.

Here's my heart. Take it away. I mean, it has always been yours.

I know that whatever I do is just to distract myself and past time, esp school. I know I have not recover, I know that it's a good escape for me. But I realize that the only reason behind is that I am just too weak.

How can I be not affected by anything? Why is it so hard? Why everyone wants to cheer me up, but I just can't be happy?

Too weak to be strong. Too weak to face it again. Too weak that I choose to escape. WEAK!

I need to learn to be strong. Teach me how to fake a smile, teach me how to be strong. I need to learn, learn from basic.

The symptoms of depression sound like slapping me. Sound like I need counselling. The topic of today problem.. School ah school. Every day so early sleep. Every day in class feel like sleeping, last time not like that leh.. Drink coffee = age more! I already look old enough already, don't need to add more.

Ytd, I had a long long talk with my mummy. Should I say it is positive or negative? I don't know, maybe both. Cause we quarrel about her closing my Atm account, not telling me. I am angry, not because she close my account, but because she didn't tell me. If she tell me, at least I know what to spend, what not to. Don't need until I buy alr, want to take money alr then realize.

I said what I wanted to say, after keeping it for years from my mother, because she never know what I have been through. She don't know when I start school, what's my GPA, what I have been through, what I like, who I love and she don't know that I cry a lot of times at night. Why only when we have argument then the truth comes out, then we say how we feel and I tell you what happen in my life, when you are actually my mum? Contradicts uh?

Which is more powerful? I wish, I want or I will? Answer: I will :)

Don't be defeated, Min Er.